Wednesday, January 7, 2015

More Pictures and Doctor's Appointment Anxiety

     I talked a little before about how we were able to get maternity pictures done just before Christmas, and our photographer has posted a few more pictures, so I wanted to share them here! I love how they turned out.

    It's funny looking at these now, because even though this was only a few weeks ago, I already feel about twenty times bigger! I'm 29 1/2 weeks now, and Evie is making herself known! She moves a lot. 

     I have an appointment with the high risk doctor and a NICU doctor next week, and I'm really nervous about what they will say and what we will see on the ultrasound. Our plan is to do absolutely everything we can to give Evelyn a chance to live, even though this is a fatal diagnosis. Just last week, one of my online support group friends had a miracle baby with LBWC, and he is still alive and fighting!! It's amazing. I want that so badly, but I know that even if our babies have the same symptoms, I may not get the same ending. It's scary, but just knowing that it's possible has given me so much hope. It's tricky trying to be realistic and aware of the most likely scenario, while still holding on for a miracle. It definitely makes for a roller coaster of emotions. 

     At this next ultrasound, we will learn a lot more about her lungs and diaphragm, and what we can expect after she is born. A lot of LBWC babies are born with a misplaced or missing diaphragm, and if that is the case with Evie, there won't be anything that we can do for her. That's a scary thought, but I'm just holding on to the knowledge that God already has a plan for us and our baby.